As Long as You'll Let Me
by Hananian
Summary: Small missing scene from 'Intruder.' Where does Elizabeth go when she needs a friend? McWeir friendship


Spoilers: Season 2 – Intruder

This one's dedicated to Sprout. Happy birthday, little one!

_

* * *

There's something else… I met someone… You were gone a long time… I met someone…There's someone else…There's someone else…_

Elizabeth brought both hands up and covered her ears tightly. It didn't block out the words reverberating through her head, but if she didn't do something, she'd scream. She rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. The change in scenery from the living room wall to the living room ceiling did nothing to help, so she gave up and sat up.

In a fit of angry frustration, she grabbed the sofa pillow next to her and hurled it at the opposite wall, with a sharp scream. The wall, supremely uninterested in her fit, seemed unaffected by the abuse.

She dropped back against the back of the couch with a muttered curse. Rationally, she knew screaming and throwing things wouldn't help. She also knew that she didn't blame Simon.

Without realizing she'd even gotten up, Elizabeth found herself standing by the front door. An urge to just…go hit her and she decided to try it. She grabbed her purse and car keys and headed out to the car. She got in and just drove. No specific destination in mind. She just knew she needed to be somewhere other than home.

She drove aimlessly, it seemed. Taking turns here, the highway here, then small side streets. After almost an hour of driving, the tears she'd been holding back since last night burned in her eyes until she couldn't see straight. She pulled over to the curb, and dropped her head back on the back of the seat. How long she sat like that, she didn't know, but the burning finally lessened without a single tear falling. _I can't cry in public. Buck it up, Elizabeth. You're not going to break down over something so stupid. _

She looked around for something to distract her, and had to laugh as she realized exactly where she was. Though she'd had no idea where she was going, her subconscious obviously did.

As soon as she recognized where she was, her first thought was to just start the car and drive away, but stopped herself. _Why not?_ Who else did she trust that much? Who else could she talk to who'd understand what was going on in her head? Who else would let her just drop the masks and just accept her as Elizabeth?

With little conscious thought, she was soon standing at his front door. Before she could change her mind, she knocked. It wasn't hard, and if he was sleeping, he'd never hear it. After almost a minute with no answer, Elizabeth turned and sat on the step. She didn't know why she was waiting, only that she had no where else to be.

The sun slowly sank towards the horizon, yet she didn't move. Darkness fell swiftly, until she couldn't even see her car anymore. And she still didn't move. She didn't know what time it was. Her watch worked perfectly fine, but she just didn't care to look.

Elizabeth didn't know how long she sat there before the sound of tires on pavement, followed by blinding headlights got her attention. She stayed where she was, too drained to get up.

Rodney got out of the car with a short thank you to the airman who drove him home. He stood there as is the car drove away, and then turned to enter his apartment. He was so engrossed in his thoughts; he didn't even see her until he almost stepped on her.

"Elizabeth? What are you doing there? You scared me to death. Are you trying to make me have a heart attack? I could ya know. Very easily. The amount of stress required to cause a heart attack is much lower than….Elizabeth? Elizabeth!"

At the louder, repeated calling of her name, she finally looked up slowly. As her eyes met his, Rodney cursed and squatted down in front of her, holding her chin to keep her eyes even with his as she tried to drop her gaze. What he saw there scared him.

There was nothing there. Her eyes were empty, blank. He had no idea how long she'd been sitting there, but her skin was cool to the touch. She didn't shiver, which worried him worse. She didn't appear to feel the cold, or even his touch.

Rodney quickly opened his door, and with a silent thanks to Major Sheppard for his enforced workouts, scooped Elizabeth up and went inside. He placed her gently on the couch, grabbing the blanket he'd left there from last night and tugged it around her. As fast as he could, he closed the door, turned on some lights and returned to sit on next to her, wrapping his arms around her stiff form protectively. Yet through it all, Elizabeth didn't make a sound.

The longer she sat there silently, the more Rodney worried. This wasn't like her. Elizabeth didn't sit that quietly. Of course, she also didn't sit outside in the darkness without a light or jacket. He began to rub his hands up and down her arms, trying to transfer some of his warmth to her.

He had no idea how much time had passed, but after quite a while of rubbing, with still no sound, Rodney realized she was no longer sitting so rigidly. Instead, over the last several minutes, she seemed to melt, slowly, until she was resting against his chest, the top of her head burrowed under his chin. It was then he felt it.

There was still no sound, but her slight form began to shake. Barely noticeable at first, growing in intensity until she shuddered violently and began to struggle.

Rodney was no good at this sorta thing. He was usually the one with the problem. But she'd been there for him more times than he could count. Which meant there was no way he was abandoning her now. Unfortunately, loyalty and stubbornness didn't tell him what to do. So for now, he just held her tightly against his chest as she struggled.

As suddenly as the struggling started, it stopped and Elizabeth crumbled back against him, shrinking against his chest like he was her lifeline. He whispered softly, "You don't have to be the strong one all the time."

It was as if she'd been waiting for permission. With a gasp, the silence was broken and the tears came. Hard and fast and intense. Rodney sat there, stroking her arms more due to lack of any idea how to help than to bring warmth. With a sob, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his waist and held on for all she was worth. He had no idea what to do, but he couldn't just sit there.

He wrapped his arms more fully around her, resting his cheek on the top of her head and began to murmur softly. He had no idea what he was saying, he just let the words come and began to rock her gently.

Time was going to be an elusive thing tonight. He again lost all track of time. How long she cried, he'd never know, but eventually, the tears slowed then stopped altogether. Several minutes later, she sniffed hard and loosened her death grip around his waist.

Elizabeth started to sit up, to pull away from him, but Rodney held on, bringing a hand to her hair and combing gently, resting his chin on the top of her head. He relaxed against the back of the couch, pulling her with him until she was sprawled against his chest, snuggled comfortable.

They sat there like that in silence for a few minutes, until Elizabeth gave a shuddering sigh. She leaned back just enough to dislodge Rodney's hand and look up into his eyes, her own swollen and red and filled with sadness.

Rodney could see how hard she was struggling to get herself back under control. And it was clear that she was embarrassed over what he knew she would consider a weakness. He stared into her eyes with a gentle insistence, not letting her break the gaze.

"Elizabeth. Do you…want to talk about it? I know I'm not the best person, but you did come here. And well, you know I'll listen." He was clueless what to say and due at this point, only that the one person in the world that he cared about more than himself was hurting. And that wasn't acceptable. But he was at a loss. "I have no idea what to say. I don't know the words to make this all better." His words were a quiet admission, and on some level, Elizabeth knew it had cost him to admit it.

She looked at him for just a moment, then gave the smallest hint of a smile. "No, Rodney. I don't need you to say anything. Just…hold me? I just need to know someone still cares. Please?"

The end of the sentence faded to so quiet, he almost couldn't hear her, but he understood. He opened his arms in invitation, and then wrapped them around her as she leaned into him. He settled them both against the back of the couch again, her head resting on his chest.

He smiled against the top of her head, his hand resuming it's stroking of her hair. "THAT I can do. We can talk when you're ready. For now, I'll hold you as long as you'll let me. As for the caring part? Even longer."

* * *

Okay, this was just a little one-shot. Mainly because I suck at serious stuff. LOL. If I try to continue it, it's gonna end up funny. I prefer to write funny. :) 


End file.
